[After all but begging his first temp inmate to let him do anything for him, Fizz literally falls over himself trying to answer, but nods easily from the floor, trying to play it cool.]
You can't trust the Admiral. He'll just as soon drop you down with guys like me and then you won't be able to leave. You seem like you have a good thing with Oz, so don't fucking throw it away by being here.
Why not?! [Now he's angry and upset.] Fizz, we didn't talk for 15 years. It's been great getting to see you again, and maybe think about, you know... having my best friend back. But not if it means you're stuck here too.
You've been fine without me before, you'll be fine again. And I can see if I can get your deal for you. But I am not fucking worth being stuck in this shit show!
Fine! [He doesn't want to be angry at Fizz, but anything else would mean admitting that he's scared of what might happen to the other imp and Blitzø can't bring himself to say that here. It feels like it would just open up a torrent of things he has been trying to avoid for a while now.]
Fucking stay here, get demoted or disappear or whatever, see if I care!
[Fizz huffs, and takes a beat to scowl off camera before taking a breath and trying his best to keep his cool. His tail lashes behind him in an irritated fashion.]
Are you actually going to let me help you, or are you just going to keep on pushing me away?
Oh right, turns out all the Admiral wants me to do is admit that I care about you and I'll be all fucking flowers and rainbows and graduated! He's just sitting there waiting for Blitzø the colossal fuck up to admit that maybe people care even though my fucking self-hatred means I can never fucking accept it and if I stop pushing people away as much maybe I'll have to think about why I think I don't deserve anyone!!
How many more years are you going to waste hating yourself? We all ready spent fifteen hating each other because Cash kept us from each other. All the bullshit Cash put in our heads since we were kids...
[The clown shrinks in on himself, tail looping round his legs in a self soothing motion as he tries to wait out that silence.
His chest aches and he blinks back tears, not ready to accept that truth, head shaking softly.]
No- I saw- They let him go- He's not-
[That crushing weight makes breathing hard, and the guilt bubbles up as he remembers Blitz telling him to leave. He doesn't understand how any of this works, but that voice of doubt his head crafts all sorts of narratives where his failures as a friend or as a Warden are what led to this outcome.]
It's... it's possible he's okay in your world, Fizzy. There's different timelines here. Julian- the Starfleet doctor in Medical? He's dead too, in his universe. In mine, he survived. It's... it gets really complicated, and I don't know if any of this is really helping, and-
[She might make a couple teleport jumps to get there extra fast, actually. Thanks, John. It's only a couple minutes before there's a knock at his door, and she pokes her head in if it's unlocked.]
[The door is open, and the space she peers into is large, built for Ozzie's frame and tastes. Fizz's eyes glow out from beneath messy blankets on the large bed, and an instant later he's wrapped around her.]
...It hurts, Devana. [Old habits. But holding her helps.]
[She doesn't give two shits what he calls her, right now. She hugs him tight and fierce, sitting on the edge of the bed as she lets the cabin door swing closed.]
I know. I know, Fizzy. I didn't know him nearly as well as you did- [She doesn't know details, but she's spent enough time with both of them to pick up that they were old friends from home] -but I cared about him. A lot of people here did, even if- if he couldn't always see that.
Yeah. He was an idiot like that. [Fizz grumbles against her shoulder. But it's not like he doesn't know why. Or at least a huge part of the why, they had spent a lot of time apart since the circus, but he's sure that was where most of both of their issues started.]
...we didn't talk for almost 15 years. I spent all that time hating him...and not hating him. And I wish we had that time back...
A charming idiot, when he wanted to be. [Just an awfully self-sabotaging one, too.
She squeezes Fizz a little tighter.]
You... you know, the deals here can do a lot of things. Even... change the past, to an extent. Maybe not fifteen years worth, and maybe you wouldn't even want to change that much. Messing with history is complicated, and it could change a lot of good things in both your lives as well as the bad.
But... maybe you could change enough so he's alive, in his timeline. Get him a second chance that way.
[Oh. Hope shines in Fizz's eyes, lifting his head to look at her. As much as he wants his original deal, he'd give it up to have Blitz back. It still means he has to get and succeed with a perma-paired inmate, but it does help him feel more in control.]
I could do that. How do I get the Admiral to pair me with someone for good?
I think it takes a different amount of time for everyone? [Tendi ponders the question.]
I mean, I got paired with someone I bonded with and knew pretty well already. But I guess some people get paired barely knowing each other at all. If you have someone where you both agree you'd make a good team, you could always try asking the Admiral. The worst he can say is no.
[A goal helps distract Fizz, and he nods pensively. He'll talk to the Admiral. Work on getting close to the inmates, and then once he's paired to one permanently it can't be that hard to get them to graduate, right? It will at least be better than sitting here crying about it. He gives a small determined nod.]
Yeah. [Tendi gives him a little squeeze.] There's a chance he'll come back before you get there, but now you have a plan in case he doesn't. ['They might come back' never feels very comforting to her, personally.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
timeasmymeasure
[video]
Date: 2025-02-18 03:07 am (UTC)Fizz, can you do a warden thing for me?
[video]
Date: 2025-02-18 03:13 am (UTC)Name it.
Re: [video]
Date: 2025-02-18 12:07 pm (UTC)You can't trust the Admiral. He'll just as soon drop you down with guys like me and then you won't be able to leave. You seem like you have a good thing with Oz, so don't fucking throw it away by being here.
no subject
Date: 2025-02-18 01:10 pm (UTC)Blitzø-... [He sighs and gives a small shake of his head.] I need this. And even if I didn't, I couldn't just leave you here.
no subject
Date: 2025-02-20 04:21 am (UTC)You've been fine without me before, you'll be fine again. And I can see if I can get your deal for you. But I am not fucking worth being stuck in this shit show!
no subject
Date: 2025-02-20 04:40 am (UTC)Because as much as I hate you sometimes, I still fucking love you, Asshole.
And I want this. I chose this. I came here for me. Not for you. And I'm not leaving.
no subject
Date: 2025-02-25 07:59 am (UTC)Fucking stay here, get demoted or disappear or whatever, see if I care!
no subject
Date: 2025-02-25 08:46 am (UTC)Are you actually going to let me help you, or are you just going to keep on pushing me away?
no subject
Date: 2025-03-01 01:19 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2025-03-01 08:06 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2025-03-09 05:03 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2025-03-09 05:25 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2025-03-09 11:24 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2025-03-09 07:41 pm (UTC)How many more years are you going to waste hating yourself?
We all ready spent fifteen hating each other because Cash kept us from each other.
All the bullshit Cash put in our heads since we were kids...
[Video]
Date: 2025-04-24 07:05 pm (UTC)Have you seen Florian's post on the comms?
[The one about Blitzø's door being gone. About Blitzø being gone.]
I just want you to know... I'm here if you need me, okay?
[Video]
Date: 2025-04-28 01:38 am (UTC)...yeah, I uh-...I saw.
I haven't- mm- Do you know...what that means for him?
If he goes without graduating, is he really just...?
[He can't finish that thought.]
Re: [Video]
Date: 2025-04-29 02:26 pm (UTC)Inmates- they're dead in their home worlds. That's how they get here.
Sometimes they come back, after they vanish. Eventually. But sometimes they don't, and then they're just...
...they don't get their second chance. It's not fair, and I'm sorry.
no subject
Date: 2025-04-29 07:18 pm (UTC)His chest aches and he blinks back tears, not ready to accept that truth, head shaking softly.]
No- I saw- They let him go- He's not-
[That crushing weight makes breathing hard, and the guilt bubbles up as he remembers Blitz telling him to leave. He doesn't understand how any of this works, but that voice of doubt his head crafts all sorts of narratives where his failures as a friend or as a Warden are what led to this outcome.]
...he told me to go home. I didn't listen...
no subject
Date: 2025-04-29 09:21 pm (UTC)-where are you? I want to hug you.
no subject
Date: 2025-04-30 05:03 am (UTC)In my cabin. I didn't wanna leave and see his door not there anymore...
no subject
Date: 2025-04-30 08:11 pm (UTC)[She might make a couple teleport jumps to get there extra fast, actually. Thanks, John. It's only a couple minutes before there's a knock at his door, and she pokes her head in if it's unlocked.]
It's me, Fizzy.
no subject
Date: 2025-05-01 06:36 pm (UTC)...It hurts, Devana. [Old habits. But holding her helps.]
no subject
Date: 2025-05-02 11:03 am (UTC)I know. I know, Fizzy. I didn't know him nearly as well as you did- [She doesn't know details, but she's spent enough time with both of them to pick up that they were old friends from home] -but I cared about him. A lot of people here did, even if- if he couldn't always see that.
no subject
Date: 2025-05-03 11:45 pm (UTC)...we didn't talk for almost 15 years. I spent all that time hating him...and not hating him. And I wish we had that time back...
no subject
Date: 2025-05-04 10:56 am (UTC)She squeezes Fizz a little tighter.]
You... you know, the deals here can do a lot of things. Even... change the past, to an extent. Maybe not fifteen years worth, and maybe you wouldn't even want to change that much. Messing with history is complicated, and it could change a lot of good things in both your lives as well as the bad.
But... maybe you could change enough so he's alive, in his timeline. Get him a second chance that way.
no subject
Date: 2025-05-09 07:33 pm (UTC)I could do that. How do I get the Admiral to pair me with someone for good?
no subject
Date: 2025-05-09 08:30 pm (UTC)I mean, I got paired with someone I bonded with and knew pretty well already. But I guess some people get paired barely knowing each other at all. If you have someone where you both agree you'd make a good team, you could always try asking the Admiral. The worst he can say is no.
no subject
Date: 2025-05-14 11:27 pm (UTC)I'll use my deal for him then. Oz'll understand.
no subject
Date: 2025-05-16 07:56 pm (UTC)Who's Oz?
no subject
Date: 2025-05-21 04:24 pm (UTC)Oh, uh- Ozzie. Asmodeus, the embodiment of Lust. He's my uh-well, business partner, and not-so business partner too.
[It still feels strange being able to admit that, and Fizz's cheek flush.]
This is his place. He's one of the Sins. Demon Royalty.
no subject
Date: 2025-05-21 07:32 pm (UTC)[The embodiment of Lust and someone clearly high up on Hell's social ladder? Fizzarolli's clearly doing well for himself in Hell.]
But I bet it sucks a lot to be away from him, huh.
no subject
Date: 2025-05-22 05:30 pm (UTC)It's the longest I've been away from him.
[Their bed feels so lonely, not to get started on how long it's been since he's had sex.]
no subject
Date: 2025-05-23 11:59 am (UTC)I know the feeling. Not- I didn't leave a partner behind, but I'm still homesick all the time.
Was your deal for him?
no subject
Date: 2025-05-26 03:01 pm (UTC)Sins are immortal. Imps aren't. I was going to ask to stick around so long as Ozzie's still here.
[He thinks a moment before adding-]
He's the one who made my limbs. It's sorta how we met.
no subject
Date: 2025-05-27 08:09 pm (UTC)[Her eyes light up at that news.]
He did? Your man's an artist, Fizzy. I'd love to meet him and pick his brain.
no subject
Date: 2025-06-03 08:36 pm (UTC)[And managed to get himself two willing Inmates]
He's amazing. [Fizz beams, always happy to gush about Ozzie.] I wish he was here too. It'd make everything so much easier...
no subject
Date: 2025-06-07 04:19 pm (UTC)[She squeezes his hand.]
Well, introduce me if he does show up here, okay? He sounds pretty amazing.